My Son Comes First And She Won’t See It?
We’ve been married since October, she has an 18yr old son and I ahve a 19yr old. We discovered she was pregnant jsut before the wedding and I was happy as my ex wife wouldn’t have more kids with me.
Her son went to live with her parents as he used to hit her (he was later diagnosed with depression due to his father trying to kill him and my wife). My son was going to live with me until he finishes his course this May then move to his mums (we have a tiny 2bed house).
Because my son goes to college part time and its not a degree or higher education I get tax credits & child benefit for him. As he’s only just turned 19 I found I can keep getting them if he decides to do an extra year. So for financial reasons I want him to stay with me, also the fact that he is my only family & I adore him. My wife suggested we get a bigger house but I said no to start with – because theres not enough room I thought it best she move out and we live together when my son decides to leave home. My wife was unhappy so I said I may consider a 3bed – but now she says no as it means I will claim the tax credit and child benefit for the baby. Due to the fact that I willl get more for my son (he’s the first child) I told her she’d have to make up the difference to match how much I get for my son out of her money.
My wife wants us to be a family but I can’t as my first responsibility is to my son – he could go to his mums but he is my only family and I don’t want to upset him.
I’m going on holiday on my own when my wife will be 32 weeks pregnant (I need to go and lie on a beach and get away from everything as I’m depressed). My wife said it’d be over if I went but I think she was angry.
Obviously my son is looking forward to having the house to himself when I’m away and having friends around. I hope my wifes house is ready then, or she can stay with family. She feels that this is teaching my son to disrespect her. She thinks that if I’m going on holiday alone, and turf her out then he will know that she isn’t a permanent fixture and has no rights. I don’t see it this way. I’m prepared now to look for a 3bed house but my wife has now said that she won’t live with my son if she is turfed out while I go on holiday and because she doesn’t want our child to grow up with our child seeing that she comes below my son. This is ridiculous – my son is my life and I’ve only been with her for a short time – I can’t put her first.
How do I get her to see that he is my priority?????
Stephen, get a life and stop whining! Think about your wife!!!!!
How can you even ask such a stupid question????????
Of course yr pregnant wife is yr priority not yr 19 yr old ADULT son!!!
And yes you are teaching yr son to disrespect her.
If you cant put her first then why would you marry her???
OMG she needs to divorce your ***. What a loser. You live in a 2bd room place and she has to move out for your ADULT child. How can you see that she and your unborn child is the priority not your adult son. No wonder your first marriage didn’t work seem this one wont either. You say you will consider a 3bd room house if she makes up the difference how about get a job and stop using your adult child to rip of welfare. I really feel sick to the stomach and feel so sorry for not only your wife but her unborn child wow deadbeat dad you need your *** kicked. Maybe when your unborn child grows up they’ll do it. I know I would if you were my dad. STOP BEING SO SELFISH AND GET YOUR ACT TOGETHER BEFORE YOU LOSE HER FOR GOOD. I hope you crawl on your hands and knees and beg for forgiveness because you really need to.
Your son is an adult now, and he can do what he wants with his education and whether he lives on his own or not. He is not a child, he is 19 years of age. I’m sure he has every right what he thinks of his own mother. Oh yes, and I thought families was supposed to stick together, especially when the wife is nearly due to birth. – P.S Stop using your son for money.
Seen this one before. If your ADULT son is your main priority over your wife and newborn baby, along with your selfish vacation, then you shouldn’t have considered marrying her and having another child with her in the first place. You say you place high value on family, but you do not value the existing family you have created recently, just the past one. You need to realize that you can combine the two and if your 19 year old son needs a place to party, maybe it’s time he moved out!