My Wife Doesn’t Want To Live With My Son??
We’ve been married since October, she has an 18yr old son and I ahve a 19yr old. We discovered she was pregnant jsut before the wedding and I was happy as my ex wife wouldn’t have more kids with me.
Her son went to live with her parents as he used to hit her (he was later diagnosed with depression due to his father trying to kill him and my wife). My son was going to live with me until he finishes his course this May then move to his mums (we have a tiny 2bed house).
Because my son goes to college part time and its not a degree or higher education I get tax credits & child benefit for him. As he’s only just turned 19 I found I can keep getting them if he decides to do an extra year. So for financial reasons I want him to stay with me, also the fact that he is my only family & I adore him. My wife suggested we get a bigger house but I said no to start with – because theres not enough room I thought it best she move out and we live together when my son decides to leave home. My wife was unhappy so I said I may consider a 3bed – but now she says no as it means I will claim the tax credit and child benefit for the baby. Due to the fact that I willl get more for my son (he’s the first child) I told her she’d have to make up the difference to match how much I get for my son out of her money.
My wife wants us to be a family but I can’t as my first responsibility is to my son – he could go to his mums but he is my only family and I don’t want to upset him.
I’m going on holiday on my own when my wife will be 32 weeks pregnant (I need to go and lie on a beach and get away from everything as I’m depressed). My wife said it’d be over if I went but I think she was angry.
Obviously my son is looking forward to having the house to himself when I’m away and having friends around. I hope my wifes house is ready then, or she can stay with family. She feels that this is teaching my son to disrespect her. She thinks that if I’m going on holiday alone, and turf her out then he will know that she isn’t a permanent fixture and has no rights. I don’t see it this way. I’m prepared now to look for a 3bed house but my wife has now said that she won’t live with my son if she is turfed out while I go on holiday and because she doesn’t want our child to grow up with our child seeing that she comes below my son. This is ridiculous – my son is my life and I’ve only been with her for a short time – I can’t put her first.
How do I get her to see that he is my priority?????
Either someone else is in a remarkably similar position to you, or you keep asking the same question in the hope of getting a different answer. Not going to happen.
Personally, I think you’re a selfish, self-centred male who I wouldn’t share living space with for a million quid. I hope you show your wife this answer – I want to tell her the new baby will be her first child. Get a solicitor & screw you for every penny you’ve got and get you & your flatmate out of the house because you have an obligation to house her & the baby.
I refer to your eldest as your flatmate because that’s clearly what you want, a ‘buddy’ relationship where you can act as irresponsibly as a 19-year-old.
u and your wife keep asking the same question over and over again – she complains on u, u complain on her. for the last time – poor people shouldn’t get married. and by writing novels on yahoo answers u re not solving any problems. unless u can start writing novels for money
I don’t even know where to start with this, If I was your wife I would have walked. You are treating her like ****. Suggesting she moves out is insane and going on holiday without her when she’s pregnant is outrageously selfish. You cannot be for real???
divorce her and marry your son or kill your self
“I can’t put her first.”
Than you should have never married her and you should definately not have knocked her up. Your son is a grown a$$ adult and you are more worried about his immature rear end & your tax write-offs than your wife & upcoming child? LOSER ALERT, LOSER ALERT..
Wait a minute, you asked your wife to move out until your son decides to leave home? lol. Your son is an ADULT and should be standing on his own two feet now. He’s only at college part-time which means he has a lot of free time, and should easily be able to find himself a part-time job. This question cannot be real. Nobody is that stupid. If you are, I feel really sorry for your wife. Hopefully she has the sense to move out permanently, and maybe find herself a new man in the process.
He’s now an adult. Your wife and new baby should be your priority. If I was her, I’d be long gone because you have no respect and give the impression you don’t love her.
Stephen, for the last damned time….Your son is an ADULT. He is not your first priority.
I see why your ex didn’t want more children with you, you selfish pig!
There is nothing wrong with your son being your priority, however, there is something wrong with you. You asked your wife to move out because you only had a two bedroom?!?! You are telling her that she needs to match what you get in taxes?! You’re going on a vacation WITHOUT your pregnant wife and you do not see a problem with that?
Seriously.. why are you married? Re-evaluate your position because I do not see the purpose of you being married if you’re simply going to treat your wife as a room mate or property!
Great elephants!
I see a whole lot of “Me me em, I, I, I” and “finances” in your story covered up with “he is my only family & I adore him.”
You are making excuse after excuse and there is something nasty under everything that you have written. How about your responsibility to your unborn child? The happiness of your current wife? None of this really makes any difference to you because it is all about you and it seems your priority lies with your GROWN son that will grant you a tax cut. That is just GROSS man!
Your main priority is with your unborn and wife. It doesn’t take an Einstein to figure this one out, but hey YOU go to that beach and chance losing your wife and unborn because of your “depression” over self.
Dude you out of line. By out of line I mean there are guidelines for prioritizing.
Always put God first, then yourself, because if you don’t take care of yourself you cannot take care of anyone, then your wife. Children fall in behind the wife.
By taking care of yourself that means eat well, exercise and enjoy your work it does not mean make your pregnant wife stay home while you go lay on a beach.
One thing is for sure, if I were her I would be gone. You keep messing around by wanting tax money for another year then she leaves she will get the tax money for the new baby. The new baby will still provide you with a tax write off.
I have always heard that if you want a baby get a new one don’t baby the old one. You have a wonderful future ahead of you with your wife and new baby. Don’t blow it.
Are you serious? Your son is an adult, how long do you think you can claim him on your TAXES? You are raising what I like to call “an adult baby”. If you really want to live with your son then you two can shack up like bachelors.
He is your first priority? So that means you drag him around everywhere you go, that means that he shouldnt look for his own place? He will never grow up and you are just extending his childhood.
I wish you the best even though I think what you are doing is wrong. In the long run, you decide what you want to do with your life. It might just turn out that your son will be the only thing you have, by the way your acting.